From Lorna -
Well, I think a lot of the "self care" things that I've been doing for years kind of have a newfound significance because it's not just taking a bath when I'm stressed out. It's very much like, Am I nourishing and feeding my soul through this action? And it's totally different. You know, I feel like self care sometimes felt like an obligation. And now it just feels like a priority. Because through these mechanisms of laying on grass in the park and looking at the sky or tuning into music and whatever that is therapeutic to the soul, which I think people have been saying and trying to explain it for years, but just now I understand.
From Sara -
I have been using a lot of sounding boards, not necessarily to tell me what to do, but just to add to my collective knowledge and understanding of the situation.
And I think what I knew – this is intuitive and I'm sure I knew it on an intellectual level – but I think that like these past couple of months especially, it was very eye opening to me how true this was and how much I internalized it: asking for help was so important. I think I knew that if you ask for help, people will give it to you.
I don't know, they were like these people that I barely knew that I was like, Can I have a conversation with you? And they'd be like, Oh my God, of course that's sounds so great. I'm so happy for you. And I'd be like, Why are they doing this? But if someone did that to me, I'd be the same.
And if you're a positive force...I didn't realize how willing people would be to help and I didn't have that much practice in asking. Before this I think I only asked when I was in crisis and I really needed help, but this is wanting help. And I don't think I had ever done that before.
From Meg -
One thing that I've started doing that I felt was really valuable is every quarter I like to go back through my calendar and be like, What did I do? Like how did I actually spend my time and I'll come up with goals for the next quarter, but it's kind of like, "Okay, like did those things match up?" And it is helpful to just remember, "Oh yeah, I did, I did do enough."
You know, my brain is always like, "You're not working enough". It's like "You're not spending enough time doing these things", but I have to keep in mind that transformation is cumulative - it's not what you do on one day. You do it over time and I think it feels tough for me when I'm doing it by myself.
From Michael -
I think the acting work that I've been doing in recent history is a really powerful way right into that. So instead of just kind of playing with the Joseph Campbell Hero's journey infographic, it's like, let's obliterate your conscious mind for awhile and actually make you that character. So it's like I'm breaking open emotionally and breaking open to total vulnerability so that you're honest about what part of that quest are you really on. And what's really emerging for you. It's almost like an element of speed that comes to mind of like, you could go at it slowly and you can kinda unfold, you know, without doing much work or you can grab the dragon and pull it in front of your face and get kicked off the cliff and have to learn how to do the levitation spell in the air. And I think something like narrative and dramaturgical frameworks kick you off the cliff and really break you open.
I think therapy in a way and coaching is like a type of narrative engagement where you have to talk about yourself almost from the third person looking at it like, Oh! process actually that I would say is more of a second person dialogical thing. Where now you’re having to explain and process your life out loud with somebody which can be incredibly "off-the-cliff kicking".
From Danny -
Honestly on my journey just being witnessed has been the healthiest thing, not therapy and not any fancy healer, just like sitting and having somebody to hear me has been like, wow, that just totally changed my world. But yeah, so Step one: express. Step two: express to a safe person who will validate and then Step three is express and who gives a fuck whether or not other people validate it or not. That’s also how you know you’ve triumphed over codependency: when you don’t need any validation from anyone. And I am still not there but getting closer and closer.