From Lorna -
I feel like there are people who are clinging onto fear that it's hard for them to be open minded, that there's another way of life. That there's another possibility and a way of living. And to those friends, I don't feel like they can relate to the space that I'm in at all. I know kind of instinctively that I need to let those friendships go because I'm not going to be able to convert them and maybe they don't want to.
They're not ready. If they're on their journey and they’re doing what they need to do, but I don't think this was really intended for everyone to be in this space. And so for people who I feel like I can talk to and they don't look at me like I'm an alien, those are the people who will continue to have a role in my life because it won't be a complete block. I think of some people, I'm having to let them go and I recognize that as something that's it's necessary, it's not good or bad.
From Isaac -
I really feel this is the least alone I’ve felt in my life. I am beginning to feel connected to others who are walking a similar path. But I think for me, what would make me not feel alone in it... I'm not a woman, but I'm having these feelings of a family like wanting a family. I'm having these feelings of the future of like, what is it, what's the shape of a family that I see? Like I don't know what a modern family looks like. I don't want to project what I want like in terms of nouns, but the verbs include things like making dinner together regularly, sharing daily things, regularly sharing painful and uncomfortable things and working through them regularly. Basically a lot more sharing of daily experience in a way that would make me feel literally less alone.
The thing is I love being alone and I've developed a life alone. And so figuring out how to make room for not feeling alone is also a balance in the period of transformation, which is like how do I balance these qualities of myself that I think I believe I can only have as an alone person. How do I open up to sharing that with someone and trusting? And that's what this transformation is about right now.
I love drawing, I love biking and I love all these things I get to do and I don't have to check in with a partner, but now, but now my values are shifting on aging and growing and I'm beginning to understand what a partnership would mean, what a we would mean. But that's a slow period of transformation.
From Danny -
But I do also feel alone in the cocoon. It sounds pretty grim to be like I'm going through this alone but to a certain extent that is the truth. I definitely have support from the community, but at the end of the day, I do have to validate myself in my own gender identity and my own experiences and as someone who was going out into the world and wanting and expecting to be validated by other people in terms of my gender identity, which is very new and fragile.
It can be very painful because you're not actually going to get that validation from the outside world if you are trans, and it wasn’t until very, very recently that I stopped getting called ma'am, and as hard as I would try to not have this be the case and to be less sensitive, that just shatters your world. So learning how to just validate my own my gender identity without getting any external validation from anyone has really been a challenge. I have tried to go it alone but I really do need support, and so does everyone who is trans or going through a period of true self-discovery.